Marriage Training
1. Pray together
(and readi the Word, praise Him) in the marriage and family.
🙏How do you pray together?
🙏 How can you grow together spiritually?
🙏How can you help each other to walk in faith?
🙏How can you put God's kingdom first in everyday life?
Matthew 6:33 NKJV
But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.
🙏 Can you somehow involve the children in praying?
🙏Since when, at what age have you involved them?
🙏 How do you usually talk about the Word? Do you talk about the Word on weekdays? How?
Deuteronomy 6:6-7 NKJV
“And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up.
Did you know that couples who pray together have a less than 1% chance of getting divorced? What an amazing power prayer has! It makes a difference in our lives, as couples who do not pray together have a 50% divorce rate. (This data applies to first marriages. In the case of second marriages, the divorce rate is 78%.)
"Those who pray together, stay together."
Why does prayer keep couples together?
🙏Even the posture (bowed head, perhaps kneeling) shows that we are open and humble towards God and each other. How could we accuse each other like that? The heart no longer desires to quarrel after we have spent time together in the presence of God.
🙏 When we speak God's promises, hope is kindled in our hearts. And that brings power and miracles.
🙏 The more we pray, the more receptive we become to the Spirit of God changing us. This is how God accomplishes His plans through us. Moreover, we begin to pray for others together and selfishness disappears from our hearts. This is a good way to walk in peace with our spouse.
🙏 Especially when we give thanks, we begin to appreciate all that is good in our lives and not look at what we are not perfect in. As we give thanks for more and more things, we also realize how blessed we are to have a spouse.
🙏 We can pour out our hearts to Jesus, who carried our burdens. In this way, we acknowledge that these hurts exist, that they are important to us and to God. We do not suppress them (which leads to illness), but we are ready to deal with them. We lay down what hurts to the cross and our hearts heal.
❗But if your partner has hurt you and your heart aches, it is better if only God is present when you cry out your sorrow.
🙏 When you hold each other's hands in prayer, you strengthen and confess your belonging - physically and spiritually. There is great power in this. Praying together shows that the two of you are one.
🙌I bless you to pray together with hope and filled with Holy Spirit, persistently.
I wrote this italicized part of my article in based on an website.
2. Schedule
Do you manage to manage your time well? Can you make time beside work, children and housework
💥for ministry?
💥 for communion with God?
💥 for your spouse?
💥 for the hobby you love passionately?
💥 for sports?
💥 for relaxation, for yourself?
How does it all work out?
Proverbs 15:16 HUNK Better is little with the fear of the Lord than great treasure where there is war.
Proverbs 6:10-11. Eccl 4:6. Proverbs 16:11. Proverbs 23.4. Psalm 127. Matthew 11:28-30
Ecclesiastes 5:19-20 NKJV
As for every man to whom God has given riches and wealth, and given him power to eat of it, to receive his heritage and rejoice in his labor—this is the gift of God. For he will not dwell unduly on the days of his life, because God keeps him busy with the joy of his heart.
3. Roles
🛥️Which of you is really the leader in the relationship? In all areas or only some areas?
🚒What does leadership mean according to Christ?
🛵 How can the husband fulfill the role of a godly leader in the family, as one who serves?
🚅Doesn't the wife feel suppressed? How can the wife experience the truth that she is equally important, a co-heir, co-ruler, who receives respect- accepting that the leadership role still belongs to the husband?
🚢How can you find the balance in this relationship and use all the wisdom that God has given to you both?
🚁How can we support each other in fulfilling his/her role? If the husband is not the leader in the marital relationship, there can be many reasons. For example, he may have seen a bad example in his family, faced some difficulties or feels that his wife is more capable. It is important that the man can take over the role that God intended for him. The wife should patiently help him, give him the opportunity to have a leading role in:
💖everyday decision-making and
💖helping the spiritual development of the family.
The woman should not take over his role if the husband does not manage to function as a leader smoothly right away. Let him grow and let's believe in him. Let him take his time.
🚀In our everyday life, how can we live selflessly in a healthy way, so that we don't give up our own interests and personality?
1 Peter 3:7 TPT
Husbands, you in turn must treat your wives with tenderness, viewing them as feminine partners who deserve to be honored, for they are co-heirs with you of the “divine grace of life,” so that nothing will hinder your prayers.
Ephesians 5:21-25 NIV
"Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her"
Eph 5:21 is very interesting, because it says that not only the wife should submit to the husband, but we should also respect each other mutually.
According to 1 Peter 3:7, it is also important for the husband to respect his wife. (and of course the wife also has to respect her husband)
⛵But what does it mean to submit? As I studied the Word and the original language, I discovered this: Submit yourself = listen, yield to him when he/she speaks wisdom. He/she helps her/him. The person supports you in your goal.
✈️What does the leadership role, the role of "head" mean? A leader is like Christ. The leader needs to behave like Jesus. Share teaching, revelation with the wife from the Bible and encourages her. He brings out the best in her. He gives strength (eg. through sharing Words, love, prayers in the Spirit). Helps. Believes in her. Gives her a task and helps her with it. He heals her, lifts her up. He keeps her on the right track. He loves her. Jesus is the Savior. Eph 5:23. But the husband also saves his wife in times of difficulties- in Christ.
So the leadership role means lifelong responsibility, shepherding and courtship. He can only fulfill it through the power of Christ.
Ephesians 5:25, 28, 33 NKJV
"Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her,
So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself.
Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband."
The husband is his wife's loving companion, confidant, praiser and acknowledger. He is a listener, a supporter, an indispensable complement to his partner in fulfilling her calling. This is also indicated by the phrase "suitable companion" in Genesis 2:18. This determines the nature of the relationship. Adam got Eve as a helper, a partner, a suitable companion. For someone who complements her partner. Together they make a whole. This includes the characterization of the roles of both of them: helpers of each other, companions who are equally destined to serve and help each other. Not servant and master, not important and unimportant, not valuable and worthless... However, equality should not be confused with role. So we are each other's companions, not just the wife is a companion to her husband. The husband is also his wife's companion: not a whimsical boss, not a despot..., but an understanding and encouraging companion, with whom they fight life's battles and "win its crown" together. Co-heirs in the Lord." This is a quote from the book by Dr. György and Anna Kováts, entitled: "Engagement! Help!!!" (I quoted almost verbatim)
Submission does not mean that the wife must always agree with her husband on everything. But it means she trusts her husband. even if she doesn't agree with it. She trusts him because she trusts the Lord...
Limits of obedience: The wife does not need to help in evil. She should tell her husband if they are headed for sin. (These last two paragraphs are also from the aforementioned book, but I did not quote it verbatim.)
The role of God
Never forget that only God is perfect, He is your source, and when you cannot fulfill your roles due to human weakness, you can turn to Him. His Spirit will restore you. He renews love in you and helps you use your God-given wisdom.
4. Money 💸
FINANCIAL PROSPERITY
I have always learned that the more we give, the more God blesses us. For he who sows bountifully will also reap bountifully. 2 Corinthians 9:6. Of course, this is true, it works. Especially when someone gives from a pure heart, out of love.
But the primary reason why God blessed us is because He is our Father, He loves us and He is the God of Providence, Jehovah Jireh. Genesis 22:14
In order to cooperate with God, His Words must be planted in our hearts, which speak of God’s caring love. Mark 4:14. Let us think about the Words related to material blessing and confess them with faith for our lives.
Do we believe that our Heavenly Father takes better care of us than of the lilies, who wear gorgeous clothes? Luke 12:27. Do we believe that according to the riches of His glory He has bless us and has supplied our needs? Philippians 4:19. That Jesus became poor for our sakes, that through His poverty we might become rich? 2 Corinthians 8:9. The New Covenant is based on better promises than the Old Covenant, and even in the Old Covenant God promised to bless us financially. Hebrews 8:6.
Deuteronomy 28:12 AMPC
The Lord shall open to you His good treasury, the heavens, to give the rain of your land in its season and to bless all the work of your hands; and you shall lend to many nations, but you shall not borrow.
DONATIONS
Luke 12:34 NIV "For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also."
Giving is a blessing. It is also important because it helps us keep our hearts pure. If our hearts are attached to money, how can we say that God is our most important thing?
When we give generously, we show by our actions that we trust in God's provision. In this way, we love people not only with words, but also with actions. 1 John 3:17-18. 2 Corinthians 9:6-13. 2 Corinthians 8:7
FINANCES IN MARRIAGE
Discuss the following:
💴How do you manage money, put money aside, decide together on financial matters?
💷If one of you doesn't earn enough money, how does that affect your relationship?
💶How do you think about giving - to the church, the poor, missions? (not only money can be given)
💵 Which promise of God is closest to your heart - about divine provision and giving? Share your testimony about how God rewarded you when you gave and helped the poor.
💸 How did you persevere when there was no money? How did you find the way out?
💳 What do you do when you disagree about a purchase or financial issue?
💷 How can you use money so that it glorifies God and builds your marriage?
🪙What are your common financial goals as a married couple?
💲Why and when is credit bad?
💰Can you lend without expecting to be paid back? Does this cause tension between you? In what case do you not give a loan?
💷 Work abroad. Would you go abroad only together? Is it worth going abroad separately? In what case would you go to work abroad? When not?